Loo shopping

“I’ll meet you by the dunnies,” my text message said.

“See you there soon,” Z replied.

This was something we used to say all the time in high school.

“I’ve got history now. What about you?”

“3 unit legal.”

“Meet you at the dunnies after?”

Why was it always at the loo? I don’t even know any more.

Anyway, today I was meeting up with a pal. He was loo shopping.

“I’ve never shopped for a toilet before,” Z said to me, as we looked at the options in Ace Hardware.

“Me neither,” I said. Although there was that one time we nicked one…

Toilets in the Philippines are pretty basic. And if you get a basic apartment – as my friend Z has done – then you will wind up with one of these.

So even though he is renting, he is splashing out – so to speak – on buying and installing a new loo.

It’s not as bad as it looks. You use a bucket to flush it which is remarkably efficient. A seat would only get in the way, you see, and then you’d have to wipe it down because in this scenario absolutely everything gets wet. It’s kinda fun. I have a lot of friends with loos like these.

But Z is a modern man earning a modern wage and by gods he may as well have a flushing toilet. Sometimes, it’s the little wee things in life…

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Nat Newman

Nat Newman is an award-winning writer of short stories, content, podcasts, feature articles, drunk text messages and, soon, a novella.


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