Why I love Malaysian newspapers

If I ever get cynical about the news, I just treat myself to a bit of Malaysian reporting. Where else can you get juicy leaders like this one:

 

“SOME homosexuals are alleged to be using public toilets in shopping centres in Kuala Lumpur to engage in unnatural sexual acts.”

 

Unnatural sexual acts!! By homosexuals!!

 

Watch out! Homosexuals! 

“Guards would then carry out investigations before warning homosexual couples caught in the act.”

 

Either those homosexuals are in the toilets for days, or the investigations are undertaken pretty quickly.

 

“We have our own ways to prove the offence besides having several security officers who are experts in handling these sort of cases.”

 

LMAO. Honestly, I can’t even add anything to that.

 

A worker with a transportation company had admitted being caught in the act with another homosexual, who is a bank executive. The duo were caught by security guards at a staircase of a shopping complex in Jalan Pasar.

 

The 22-year-old suspect from Sungai Jelok, Kajang, said he did not realise his acts were captured on CCTV.

 

He said he started “becoming” a homosexual when he was 15, when he was studying in a residential school in Kajang

 

And so I think we can all learn something from this.

– don’t use toilets in Kuala Lumpur

– don’t go to a  residential school unless you want to ‘become’ a homosexual.

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Nat Newman

Nat Newman is an award-winning writer of short stories, content, podcasts, feature articles, drunk text messages and, soon, a novella.

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