The Compulsory City

It is a well known and established fact that you cannot go to Vienna without going to see a Viennese concert. You will be stopped at the Austrian border, questioned vigorously and sent back to the capital if you attempt to avoid it; you will also be forced to wear lederhosen.

The first time visitor to London will feel compelled to go to a musical or a play; the same is true of New York. Each world city has its compulsory activity or attraction and if, as a visitor, you fail to do it you fail as a visitor.

I was thinking about this recently as I realised that having just spent a week in London I managed to avoid Oxford Street, Oxford Circus, Regent Street, Leicester Square and Piccadilly altogether. This isn’t as gross a failure as, say, not visiting the Opera House in Sydney. And as a former resident of London I can be forgiven for avoiding the hordes. But it did make me think about the other failures I’ve had as a tourist.

The Trevi Fountain, Rome

My travel companion B insisted that we visit The Trevi Fountain when we were in Rome. Her reasons were a little abstract; the fancy restaurant in her home town is named after it and she’d had some hilariously slapstick dates there. So of course we went to see it (the fountain, not the restaurant). We took some photos and then went in search of a beer. Months later, when I returned home, I discovered that you are supposed to throw a coin over your shoulder into the fountain. Apparently everyone else knows this. It’s in a movie or something.

trevi-fountain

PRO-TIP: When in Rome, toss a coin over your shoulder into the Trevi Fountain. Otherwise you will have to spend the rest of your life explaining to people, “oh, but we were on a budget, and it was a sunny day, and there was a really nice bar nearby…”

The Gaudi Church, Barcelona

I don’t know what to tell you here. We were in Barcelona for just under a week (again my travel buddy was B) and we managed to lose $50 on street gambling, become hurdles for a leaping acrobat, watch a guy get mugged, meet a guy called Johnny Walker (seriously) and latch onto a float during The Giants Parade. But could we find Sagrada Familia? SPOILERS: No, we couldn’t. Every day around lunchtime we stopped in at a little stall in the market to watch a half hour of the Sydney Olympics and get a plate of slops (I’m sure it sounds nicer in Spanish). The locals thought it was great that there were real live Australians sitting in the bar day after day while the Olympics were on. And that is all the excuse I have.

sagrada-familia

PRO-TIP: No matter what happens, say that you visited the Gaudi Church. People will literally not believe you if you tell them you couldn’t find it.

Paris, France

So, ah, Paris. In my defence, we had been travelling for a few months by now. We’d seen London, Vienna, Barcelona, Madrid, Milan… Paris was just another pretty European city. We dutifully went to the Louvre, wandered around some streets until we got lost, walked down an alley populated by prostitutes wearing fur coats… And then we chucked the whole city in and went to Disneyland instead where we had a cracking great time.

Disney_castle_paris

PRO-TIP: Go to Disneyland! It’s great!

Bath, UK

The Georgian city of Bath is famous for its… well… baths. And while I was there in February I of course went to see its many… pubs. I’m almost ashamed to admit it but I did not go to the baths at all. They’re expensive! My budget was £20 a day and I wasn’t blowing 3/4 of it on some water, some warm salty water. Not when there’s beer to be had!

Roman_Baths_c1900_2

PRO-TIP: If you go to Bath, factor in a visit to the Roman baths in your budget. Or don’t. There are loads of great pubs!

What cities have you been to and failed at as a tourist? Should passports come with checklists so you don’t miss the essentials?

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0 Responses

  1. i didn’t go to the louvre in paris!

    oh and went to florence but didn’t see david (was deathly ill and the line was long)

    essentials checklist is a good idea but sometimes the accidental adventures are the best!

  2. i can’t believe how many times you apologised or tried to excuse yourself for your own damn travelling, but at the same time i’m appalled you didn’t do the fountain thing. was B from nowra by chance? i’m sure there are literally billions of “fancy” restaurants named the trevi fountain but my parents insist the trevi near the old pizza hut in south nowra is the best pizza in the whole south coast….

  3. This is great!
    Firstly…. I’ve been to all those places (rarely do I actually say that after reading a travel article!) and done all those things except Disneyland – I’ve been to Paris twice, and both times I sigh with relief when leaving. Next time Disneyland it is!
    Secondly… I am typically one of those “been there, done that” travellers, and hit the hot spots before hitting the pubs (it’s amazing how little sleep you can get by on). Some regrets though, are not seeing the Archipelagos in Stockholm (apparently it’s really pretty), being too hungover to go up the Alps in Austria (we found some cracking hangover grilly though and paid about AU$30 for it), and going to a proper football game in Liverpool/Barcelona (so I get reminded by J every time we mention travelling).

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Nat Newman

Nat Newman is an award-winning writer of short stories, content, podcasts, feature articles, drunk text messages and, soon, a novella.

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