Presents in the plumbing

overcoming fear of the blank page

In my first two weeks at my new job I was struck by dirty bombs three times! I haven’t been struck again since (perhaps there was something wrong with the plumbing which has been fixed) but please – ladies, gentlemen – repeat after me:

– Poo

– Flush

– Check

– Flush again !

I’m a poo professional, but really, it’s just not polite to inflict your poos on other people.

2 Responses

  1. Just recently I went on a school camp and the boys took to leaving some nasties in each others loos. What amazed me most was that one boy managed to poo 6 times in the one day. I had to put on my teacher voice, pay a compliment that he was regular (you know positively reinforce) then remind the offenders of the “if it’s brown flush it down” rule. I feel I’ve served society well!

  2. Good work, Stevie.

    You know, it doesn’t sound like rocket science, does it? If it’s brown, flush it down. My problem with this is that it indicates to me that while people are uncomfortable touching their own poo, they’re perfectly okay with someone else touching it. That’s, like, weird.

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Nat Newman

Nat Newman is an award-winning writer of short stories, content, podcasts, feature articles, drunk text messages and, soon, a novella.


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