Friday Flush 25/07/2008

overcoming fear of the blank page

Oooh, it’s quite an international flush today, and a big one at that! So what we need is a massive toilet. A Yorkshire Water campaign to encourage people to ‘do one thing differently’ to conserve water is being fronted by giant toilets. I don’t believe the toilets actually speak or anything, but it is a fun way to get people thinking about the fact that toilets account for one third of a household’s water usage. By the way, I don’t really believe that statistic. Maybe it’s true in the UK, but I know that here in Australia, water saving cisterns have been standard for at least a decade. I couldn’t be arsed researching this at the moment though. Would appreciate others’ thoughts.

Another interesting statistic, is that Russians use 10 times less toilet paper than Americans and Western Europeans. Now, this statistic I do believe. The experts claim it all comes down to the old ‘do ya scrunch or fold?’ question. That is a poll for another time.

Still no bids on the infamous Seattle toilets which are up for sale on eBay at a starting price of $89,000, however Calgary and Fort Lauderdale might be interested in buying them. Not put off by Seattle’s experience with the spaceship toilets, Toronto and Vancouver are moving ahead with plans to install more of the suckers. However, they might be better off buying their facilities from Vietnam where the toilets only cost $20,000 a piece – that’s a massive saving!

Meanwhile, over in London, red Boris wants to offer free toilet facilities to all senior citizens. The idea is actually extraordinarily deceptive – it is a discriminatory Community Toilet Scheme. As Londonist points out, non-senior-people who pay £100 more for their monthly train tickets should reasonably object to being denied access to toilets because of their age.

old-folk

To prove that everything strange in the world actually comes from Austria, and not the USA as many people believe, is this story about a man who was blasted off his toilet seat by hailstones. Oh. My. God. I can’t even believe how much that would hurt.

And finally in Jamaica, a businessman has been accused of selling counterfeit toilet paper on the black market.

And that’s the Friday flush for this week!

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Nat Newman

Nat Newman is an award-winning writer of short stories, content, podcasts, feature articles, drunk text messages and, soon, a novella.

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