Booze Bar and Black

Even if you haven’t been to the newly re-opened Beresford yet, no doubt you’ve heard about its sexy curved bar, its naff wine list (organised into cheap, decent, good), and, of course, its magnificent loos.

You’ve heard about the loos, right?

First, a word about how I ended up in The Beresford on a Tuesday night. We had gone to The Rocks for a bit of St Pats day cheer, but found the prospect of lining up for 30 minutes just to get into the pub, followed by 30 minutes of queuing for the bar, followed by standing outside and having drunk loud amateur drinker step on our toes just wasn’t… cheering. T had noticed that the Columbian served Guinness, so up we trudged to Oxford Street. Now, while technically the Columbian does serve Guinness, it comes out of a can, which is poured into a glass, and the glass is then placed on some sort of sonic device which gives the beer a head. It was creepy.

So we went to the Beresford. Which doesn’t serve Guinness at all. So we had two pints of Coopers instead.

The most noticeable thing about the toilets at the Beresford is that they’re dark. Very dark.

Beresford toilet sml

The next noticeable thing is that they’re dark. And also, the hand washing area is communal. I like this. It feels efficient.

Beresford taps sml

And the next noticeable thing is that they’re dark. And also, they have Dyson Airblades! It’s a shame that more people don’t know how to use these properly. They are an absolute revolution in hand drying technology. I couldn’t find a really good clip which shows you how to use the Airblade properly (it’s all about pulling your hands out slowly, people! Not plunging them in again and again!), so you will have to make do with this Shiny review.

Dyson sml

In summary, they’re very dark. And they pour a rather nice pint of Coopers. The bar, not the loos.

2 Responses

  1. The Beresford loos look like something out of a Madonna or late George Michael (!) music video. The toilets sound like the Concorde taking off. THe dyson hand-dryers are a sure win with the gay boys what with their extraordinary blow.

  2. I’m trying to place the Beresford from my Paddington days, and I looked at your map and got a complete headspin as I was trying to triangulate Oxford St, Sydney with Bourke St, Melbourne and everything started to go blurry.

    I have, however, been to the Colombian, for the express purpose of using their loos (the women’s ones were, understandably, hard to find) and I’ve also seen that sonic Guinness contraption. Funky? Yes. Freaky? Definitely.

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Nat Newman

Nat Newman is an award-winning writer of short stories, content, podcasts, feature articles, drunk text messages and, soon, a novella.


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