11. Dear Queue Jumper

Dear Queue Jumper,

Most people see a long queue and think, bugger. I hope it moves fast.

But you see the queue and you know – you know – that that queue is not for you. I know the bank manager, you think. I’m friends with the owner. I went to school with the CEO.

I may not know that security guard, you think, but I know that I earn more than him. My child and I don’t deserve to queue. Can’t you see that we’re better than you?

If I make the girl on the door uncomfortable enough she will let me in rather than go to her manager. What a win for me.

The world is your oyster, you think. People have to make their own opportunities. That’s how you get on in this world. Anyone can be successful, you say, if they just try their very hardest to get ahead.

got-privilegeWell how about this? Next time you try to bully your way into a restaurant, get ahead on a deal, cut your staff wages, get out of paying tax or humiliate a subordinate – how about next time you do that I just man-handle you out onto the street and make you wait in the rain? Better yet, how about you stand on the road? Look, I know it’s a bit dangerous, but you really shouldn’t have tried to cut ahead. There’s a waiting list, you know. A system. And no one should ever try to dodge the system.

That’s not how you get on in this world.

Your fellow queuer,



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Nat Newman

Nat Newman is an award-winning writer of short stories, content, podcasts, feature articles, drunk text messages and, soon, a novella.


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