Planning for Oz

In very exciting news, we’re heading back to Australia for Christmas (hi mum and dad!). I’m looking forward to Asian food, and oysters, crumpets, strong tea, and the sun and the beach, and of course seeing all my friends and family. But there’s one thing I’m rather nervous about.

Beer.

Anyone who knows me knows that beer is not something that normally makes me nervous. It can make me talkative, or animated or bellicose or, most often, sleepy – but it never makes me nervous. Normally, the idea of beer fills me with an overwhelming sense of joy and happiness. Followed by an overwhelming need to fall asleep at the table. But generally very positive feelings.

And I’ve been enjoying the luxury of cheap beer here in Croatia for almost two years. Today I had a two course lunch and a large beer for 28 kuna. That’s about $5 or 4 Euro. I did a quick poll of my buddies on Facebook. “How much for a beer?” I asked. The answers ranged from ‘$5 during happy hour’ and ‘$7 at least’ all the way through to ‘it’s dire, bring a keg’.

Seven bucks for a schooner?? Are people out of their minds? That’s dinner and a beer here!

I’ve realised that in order to ‘plan for Australia’ what I really need to do is wean myself off booze and try not to drink too much when I get there.

Bahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

I jest. What I really mean is, bankruptcy, here I come!

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Nat Newman

Nat Newman is an award-winning writer of short stories, content, podcasts, feature articles, drunk text messages and, soon, a novella.

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